I’m a mild and pleasant easy-going chap
A friendly wave, a smile a quip a laugh
As I meander on through life
I avoid all the strife
That can so easily fall into one’s lap
But now and again I really must declare
I feel a certain coldness in the air
When confronted by some stranger
Like some dog in a manger
I’m often heard to stop and then declare
Chorus:
There’s something about that fellow I just don’t like
There’s something about that fellow I just don’t like
I can’t put my finger on it but you can depend upon it
There’s something about that fellow I just don’t like.
The other Friday night I came home early
To my surprise there in the living room
Was the pools man who usually called on Thursdays
Being entertained by my wife June
They both seemed surprised and shocked to see me
They were doing some sort of aerobics on the floor
The pools man gave a scream and turned quite ashen
As he vaulted over the sofa by the door
As he ran down the path and through the gateway
In his boxer shorts and vest of matching red
I wondered why the deuce he’d left his trainers
And I’ afraid I turned to June and sternly said:
chorus
The 1930’s found my daddy on the Rhine
And with some pretty fraulein making time
But just as he was scoring her boyfriend came up roaring
And indicating daddy was out of line
The boyfriend was a shortish looking chap
A tuft of hair protruding from his cap
His manner was obtuse-ish his walk was rather goose-ish
And he must have taken my daddy for some sap
But daddy kept a cool and even head
Refusing to be riled or see red
His upper lip was stiff-ish {my God he was so British!}
So he turned to Eva Braun and in German said:
chorus
Now Civil Service Cyril was very civil
That was how he’d tried to live his life
Doing good to all and harming no-one
A gentleman to the world and to his wife
Yet though he was a good man bad luck dogged him
Disaster was Cyril’s second name
He always came unstuck at every turning
His feet were flat and his luck was just the same
One night as he knelt in reverence by his bedside
Thanking the good lord for all he had
He was seized by a momentary burst of selfish madness
He lost his cool and he went suddenly mad
He said, “Tell me Lord why I have misfortune
All I want to know is the reason why!”
He was struck by a vicious bolt of lightning
And a voice was heard to declare from way on high:
There’s something about that fellow I just don’t like
There’s something about that fellow I just don’t like
He prays to me twice nightly but Jesus Christ Almighty
There’s something about that fellow I just don’t like!
