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Words & music

 Ed Pickford © prs

I’ve got the gizmo that boosts my machismo

But causes me some frustration

Makes me feel groovy when I’m on the movee

It’s satellite navigation

I follow blindly so you may well find me

Driving in Stoke or Dunoon

Or in a panic when driving through Alnwick

When I started out for the Toon


Sat nav sat nav - this seasons must have

Use it on road, sea or choo-choo

Met friendly faces in faraway spaces

And place you didn’t want to go to

I met a yeti all sweaty and fretty outside of a netty near Asda

Lost and confused and completely bemused

Driving a little red Mazda

Cause of distress - was his GPS

What a mess - I’m telling you

Punched in his postcode

Put it in search mode

Said, “No-can-do Kathmandu ………..Chorus

Marco the Polo could navigate solo

Dressed in more fur than a lama

Drake and yon Raleigh were not very pally

Vasco De Gama was calmer

Dressed in their gaiters - these cool navigators

Sailed with a chart and some tweezers

Isn’t it awesome - this fabulous foursome

Must have been dead-clever geezers ……Chorus

Weaker & weaker by Lake Tanganyika

Livingstone’s outlook got bleaker

Started from Hexham - drove via Wrexham

Now he was right up the creeker

Up stepped Mort Stanley - macho and manly

Into the tent went his neck-o

“Evening,” he said, “ thought you were dead

Fancy a glass of Prosecco?”

Make life exciting by hiking or biking

Or striking a Viking called Eric

Ride on a tiger or glide down the Eiger

Dressed as a cleric from Berwick

Do anything that will give you a zing

And bring you some joyful elation

Like Nitty Nora the school nit explorer

Who now uses nit navigation  …….Chorus

Sat Nav